I'm on my way from Newark to Delhi.
I'm looking through my window. It is night outside. The full moon is illuminating the seemingly endless sea of clouds. It's beautiful! I feels like forever is below me. Then, an interruption, ocean underneath reveals itself in the moons reflection.
Already I feel an unsettling sense of far, far away. Far, far away from home. Far, far away from the ones I'm closest to. Flying towards a foreign place.
People I don't know and don't know me. I won't mean anything to anybody there. I am nobody's mother, nobody's wife, nobody's daughter, nobody's friend, nobody's anything...
I know I will form connections. Still, I am starting from a place of nobody-ism. Or, more positively put, I'm starting from within me. From my core. Pure me without definition. Will it take me a while to find me? Will I find me?
That is the scariest aspect of this journey I chose for myself. And it is what I came her for.
Will I be more then my questions? Looking for answers?
Can I be just me?
I love that you're blogging about your journey! I can't wait to read where it takes you. Godspeed.
ReplyDeletewhere are you my friend? i'm so glad that you are sharing this with all of us..cheers..Judith
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your word choice, Christiane. The word that most struck me is "core". At the core of the fruit of your experience are seeds. Seeds hold hope, potential of something more to come, mystery of the unknown, a promise that something will blossom and therefore matter in your future however brilliant or understated. Even more interestin is your phrasing of that word "from my core". This phrase seems to indicate that you believe something--an experience, growth, soul food, life--will come from your core and reach out to your future. The way that this prepositional phrase unfolds into time and space is indicative of that which is profound and you know this. I'll be watching and reading! Be safe and experience it! Love, Jill
ReplyDeleteI am so proud of you. You are doing something the rest of us dream about. Good luck Cowgirl!
ReplyDeleteLove, Ruth
Christiane, I am very happy to have a peek into your trip that you have been planning for so long now. You are very inspiring. Thank you for sharing. I really enjoy your personal perspectives. Just know you are very loved by many and we are happy for you.
ReplyDelete